Jack's Hat: A Story For the Ages!
by Angel of Music lover
Summary: Welcome aboard the Pearl mates! Gather round and ol Captain Jack will tell you the tale about his mysterious hat... how exactly did he come to own it?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay… I was watching Dead Man's Chest for the second time the other day when suddenly I had this brilliant idea. I thought that I could write a little story about Jack's hat! So here it is… and it will be written from Jack… sorry… _Captain _Jack Sparrow's point of view so be aware of misspellings, grammatical errors, and whatnot. And don't worry… there are no Dead Man's Chest spoilers… actually I would prefer it if you didn't think about the events of the newest addition while reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean… **

Jack's Hat: A Story for the Ages

Well hello there… what, may I ask, is the reason for this unexpected party? You have a question? Alright… shoot away. You want to know about me hat? Well… that is a rather long… and boring tale… most likely not to interest the likes of you. Ah well… you've won me over. Please grab a bottle of me finest rum… no not _that _bottle… that be the one I was drinking… and have a seat. Hope ye don't mind the mess… blasted parrot like to go all over the place! If it wasn't poor Cotton's only way of talking I would've shot the damn bird already. Now… keep yer mouth shut and listen to what Captain Jack has to say. One more sip of rum for me… to help the remembering!

I expect that you would think I got this hat off some poor old bloke who met old Dave by the pointy edge of my sword. And I would have to laugh at you and you would end up with my spit and rum all over your face. I got this hat from a very unlikely place… can you guess? Never mind don't guess… it would take too bloody long. I got this hat from an actual shop. And not just any shop… but a very fancy, pricey, and respectable store… not exactly where you would picture me eh? Ah yes… I remember that day so very well. I had just turned the shining age of eighteen and was happy to be out of my home. You see… I always had this dream to become a pirate but me father never approved. What's more… he was a _pirate hunter. _Anyway, I'm getting off track… you want to know about me hat not me father.

Well there I was… walking down this street that was filled with old blighters in wigs and women wearing beautiful dresses. I stuck out like a sore thumb with me dirty clothes and ragged appearance. So anyways, I was walking down this street when all of a sudden… I saw this beautiful thing. I didn't think that the heavenly father himself could create something so wonderful until that day. No it wasn't the hat you little sods… it was a bar! A bar filled with the most intoxicating rum in all of England. A lad soon to become a pirate couldn't have asked for a better place than this here bar. I swear, after that day I have never been able to turn down a good bottle of rum… and you can hold me to that. But that is another story in itself mates and I think we should save it for another day eh?

So I was walking down the street after this great discovery of rum, drunk as a dog of course, and I happened to pass by this hat shop. I looked in prepared to have a good laugh at the frilly little hats with their ribbons and bows but instead saw something much better. It wasn't on display in the window… oh no. I could only just see it in the back of the store… almost as if the man who made it was ashamed of his work. I hurried into the shop and walked over so I could get a better look at it. It was made of good leather and even though at the time it didn't quite look like a pirate's hat… I didn't quite look like a pirate yet meself either. So I picked it up and looked at it some more… and decided that it would be fit for old Blackbeard himself. I just knew that I had to have _this _particular hat. I knew that together… we could shape up and become worthy of the name pirate. Or in the hat's case, a pirate's hat. There was just one problem with this… I had no money. My wealthy father had disowned me once I left and I hadn't had the sense to grab any coins on the way out. So I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me, jammed the hat on me head, and ran as fast as I could out the door. It marked me first day as a pirate it did.

Well of course the shop keeper saw me run off with the hat and he was angry. I mean… I didn't think a guy could get so upset about me stealing a hat that was in the very back of the store anyways. I mean… it just doesn't make sense!

Well of course _you _think it was a bad thing to do… you don't have a lick of pirate in you. Ouch… please don't slap me again… I swear you looked just like a pirate when you hit me if it makes ye feel better. Ahem.

I heard the shop man yell for the bloody navy so I decided to head for the bridge. You see… this little town I was in was connected to another town through a bridge that passed right over this great big river. So I decided to make a run for the bridge. Of course I was still drunk as a dog, but that didn't stop me from making it to the bridge. Luckily my drunkenness got the better of me… when I reached the bridge I began to sway terribly. I tried to straighten out but my legs couldn't quite seem to do it. It's like having a pair of terrible sea legs. Anyway, finally I swayed so hard that I hit the railing of the bloody bridge and I fell right over it into the river. So the little men with their swords and their guns passed right over me and didn't even know it. I was just about to get out of the water again when I realized that the hat was still in the water. I could even see it floating down the river like a big bobbing… log or something. So I plunged into the water again and began to swim after it. The plus side of this is that I was immediately sober again.

I know what ye be thinking… what kind of a deranged lunatic would jump back in the freezing water to get a bloody hat back? Well that deranged lunatic would just happen to be me… I would do anything for that hat. Back to the story!

So there I was, making my way towards my beloved hat in. I was cutting through the water like a fish, all I could keep thinking was,

"I've got to get to that hat!" So that's exactly what I meant to do. I was just about an arms length of the hat when suddenly this giant… fish jumped up and hit the hat with his tail. I swear that fish had to have been about… ten feet long and was redder than blood itself. I wasn't scared in the least though, not even when I saw the razor sharp teeth gleaming at me from his mouth. I just swam up behind him and jumped on his back as if I was going to ride a horse. The fish of course, being a stupid animal, just flopped back down in the water and began to swim after me hat. I held on and was just able to keep me head out of the water.

The fish went faster and faster as it came closer to my hat. I could just see it… it was soaked all the way through and had all sorts of… dirt and such on it. We got ever closer and I realized that I didn't really have a plan. I decided that I would let go of the fish with one hand and stretch my now free hand towards my hat. It was in that single moment that I learned the meaning of opportune moment. If I tried to grab the hat too soon I would most likely miss but if I grabbed it too late the fish would swallow it up. Just when the fish was about to surface again I reached out my other hand as well and snatched the hat from the water. Just at that moment, the bloody fish jumped out of the water and I found myself to be air born. It didn't matter though, I had me hat and that was what I came for.

No… this was not a drunken dream I had, savvy? It is all true… and I wish you would stop rolling your eyes at me. You ungrateful sacks of meat wanted me to tell ye how I got me hat and I told you. Every detail is true, cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a sea urchin in my eye. Satisfied yet? Now let me finish this here tale up.

I was air born… flying high in the sky and all I could think about was the good fortune I had to get me hat back. I didn't even realize that I was about to hit the ground again until I actually did. Hurt like hell, I was limping for about a week, I've had worse since then. When I finally got back up the first thing I saw was the barrel of a gun. Once my eyesight cleared a bit I realized that I had been found by the shopkeepers lackeys. So I did the only thing that I could do. I ran like Davey Jones himself was after me.

Guns were being shot at me and I only just managed to dodge them all. Unfortunately me poor hat got hit with a few. Only one left a hole though… and I managed to patch it up decently. I'm getting ahead of myself here… wait… ah I got it. I was running like Davey Jones was after me but I realized once I got back to the river bank that it wouldn't work. There was angry red fish in there just waiting for me to dare to come back in the water. So I ran in the opposite direction of the bridge and made me way to where all rivers must empty. The ocean mates. Eventually I lost the bloody stupid men and was able to just walk in peace for a time.

And that's how I got me hat. Well you never asked how I became a pirate. Really it was all thanks to me hat really. Well if you really want to know then I suppose I should tell ye… though first you have to do something for me. That's right… go swab the decks and anything else that Gibbs asks you to, savvy? Hop to it now!

**A/N: Well I rewrote it a few times and this how good I got it to be. Please tell me if you liked it… if you want me to continue or if I should leave it as a oneshot… anything! Thanks! **


	2. The Finding of the Compass

**A/N: Well… the majority ruled that I should write a few more chapters of this story so here I am! Also you guys gave me such great ideas and I just want to thank you so much for that. If it seems like the story switches perspectives… lets say from first person to third person… don't worry. It's supposed to be that way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean… despite how much I wish I did…**

Jack's Hat: A Story for the Ages

The finding of the compass

Oh, look! It's you again! Well sit on down and have another bottle of rum with me. No I am not drinking too much… look I can count how many fingers you have on your little pinkie… you have ten fingers on that finger. Stop your bellyaching… you're under Jack Sparrow's command and under his little flag so you're going to have to shut that ungrateful, ever gaping, rum ridden, sea urchin sprouting mouth of yers. If you say anything else Jack won't finish his story! Now where in the name of rum was he… ah yes.

I be walking down the side of the river… much like this… yes I did even do the staggering thingy. Anyhow, I was walking along when suddenly I see several sea turtles on the river bank… just waddling along with nothing to do. So I, being the ever great and generous Captain Jack, decided that I would give the poor blokes something to do. So I took some rope, rounded up the little scoundrels, and tied them to my feet.

No I do not have an obsession with sea turtles. Where did I get the rope? Well Captain Jack plucked all the little hairs off his hair back and tied the hairs together to make a rope. No I am not delusional… just a little drunk. Where did the turtles come from? Weren't you listening at all mate? They came from the sea… Jack told you that already! Now… Ahem… back to the story…

The little turtles made their way down the river… really for turtles they moved quite quickly. I nodded off a few times meself… the hat stayed wide awake though to keep watch. So after a while… I the sea turtles stop so I open me eyes to see what was the cause of the stopping. It was then that I noticed that, 1) it was already nighttime and 2) there were a bunch of shacks up in the water. I guess the heat did something to me cause I passed out with me feet still tied to the turtles and everything.

I woke up to rum being splashed in my face and my eyes saw the odd room I was in. It was filled with all sorts of… creepy crawly things… I thought that maybe I was in some sort of hell. Well it turned out I was because then I met… _her. _Her face popped out of nowhere and I was forced to gaze upon… black disgusting teeth, wild hair, and tattoos marring this dark female face. It was terrifying… Jack never wanted to open his eyes again. It was then that I noticed she was holding a bottle of half empty rum… and I forgot for a moment where I was.

You see… rum has this delightful affect on people. You see it and all you can think about is how wonderful it tastes. The beautiful, intoxicating herbs and the cool texture. Oh to even sniff it sets a man like myself into a blood thirsty craving. In fact, all that goes through me head is just the sound of rum swishing in a bottle… that wonderful… soothing noise…

Whoa! That water is bloody freezing… what the bloody hell do you think you're doing you little sod! That water is cold enough to make a man go bloody sober… good thing Jack has another bottle of rum in his boots. Oh stop rolling your bloody eyes and let Jack drink the bloody rum.

Anyways, she offered me some rum and I drank it up… which she looked crazily pleased about. A normal man would be terrified… but I have wits made of steel. No woman can scare me… except for Elizabeth after the vicious rum burning incident. Anyhow, the woman looked to be quite a bit older than me… in fact I don't think she's aged any older in her appearances. Of course… what do I know right? I don't know how long I stayed there… it might have been only a few days or a few months. Once you get used to her she's not so bad… even if she is a little too flirty for my liking.

Finally I got the guts up to suggest that I should be on me way to finding my piratehood. She agreed, reluctantly I thought, and then gave me one solitary gift. Well actually two gifts but the first one is the most important. She said to me…

"Jack… your wingssss will spread lik de sparrow…" Yadda, yadda, yadda, I pretty much stopped listening until she mentioned something valuable. "I will give you dis compass… if you are eva in the doubt… look to it. It will show you what it is your heart truly desires." Brilliant! It wasn't much to look at but I gladly took it… anything to shut the old bird up. Then she offered to "look into the futa for Jack!" So I let her and she did that freaky crab thingy… you know with the "Crab Claws of Destiny" or whatever. She told me that I was to sail out to the middle of the ocean where there was once a terrible shipwreck of catastrophic proportions. This is the story that she told me, if you care to listen.

_Once, in years long forgotten, there were two pirates ships that ran supreme in the entire world. One was the Flying Dutchman, captained by the much feared Davy Jones and his corrupted crew. _Of course this was before Jones got all octapusified and whatnot_. The other was known as The Black Pearl and was captained by a forgotten man by the name of Jack Sparrow _(no relation I swear) _and his own crew of fearless lads. Well both ships were equal in size and speed but there cannot be two number ones forever. It was inevitable that the two would meet in a battle of epic proportions. It happened out in the middle of nowhere… neither ship had anywhere to run except for the bottom of the ocean. The Dutchman and the Pearl drew side by side… and let loose their cannons. The battle was brutal, neither wanted a single crewmember of the other ship to survive nor did they want the other ship to ever set sail again. In the end, Davy Jones pulled an underhanded trick against the fair fighting Jack Sparrow. He waved the white flag of truce for Jack to see and Jack being a man of curiosity ceased fire to see what would happen next. As soon as Davy saw this he immediately had all cannons fired at once, including his much heard of but never seen triple guns. The Pearl was struck down before she could even retaliate and the ship along with the entire crew were sent down to the depths of the sea. Legend says that Jack's final shout to Jones as his ship sunk to the bottom was that he would get his revenge… somehow… someway… he would make sure that Davy Jones would pay his dues. _

After hearing this story I immediately wanted to go to this place, but I never thought I would get a ship there. My odd friend told me that if I was to park my little boat right where the Pearl had gone down and called for Davy Jones to pay his dues, the Dutchman would rise from the waters. From there she told me that I would have to bargain with Jones… and that if the price was right he would raise the Pearl up for me again. I was delighted with this prospect and headed out immediately. Her last words to me were that if I was to follow the compass it would lead me to where I needed to go.

So that is how I got me compass and how I first heard about the Pearl. That is also when I decided that I would change my name to Jack Sparrow. It seemed appropriate.

So you want to know what happened from there… how I made my way to the middle of the ocean and found a crew crazy enough to follow me there? You want to know what was said between me and Mr. Creepy and Scary? Well I'll tell you if you do a few little things for me… get five bottles of rum from the cellar and raise the sails to take off. Of course we wouldn't take off with you still in it… that would be stealing after all. We just want to be prepared for when we do take off. Good lad… I NEED TO GET DRUNK AGAIN SO DON'T YOU SKIMP ON THE RUM WITH ME! Captain Jack wouldn't like that at all… would he?

**A/N: So what do you think? Interesting? Not interesting? Suggestions? I tried to make Jack sound really drunk this time… let me know if I even came close to accomplishing it. I know that during the second half I kinda let that go because he was talking about something serious… thanks! **


End file.
